FOURTEEN YEARS AGO, our family was hit by a parent's worst nightmare. We learned our daughter, Kristin, had been murdered by her ex-boyfriend. At that moment and often afterward, we were faced with the decision to stop and concentrate only on ourselves or take what we had learned and help others who might face a similar situation. This has been our mission ever since.
WHEN DATING HURTS is the true story of a devastating loss. You will follow our journey beginning with the initial call from detectives. This was written to alert others that dating violence is real and it can touch any family. It is a memoir but it also offers practical advice gained from countless hours spent with domestic violence professionals, victims, and survivors—and from our lives after losing Kristin.
ONE-THIRD OF ALL WOMEN will experience serious partner violence during their lifetimes. It typically happens between the ages of 16 and 24, but it can happen at any age. Dating violence could seize control of someone's twelve-year old daughter. Or a 30-year old niece or your co-worker, or a neighbor living on your street. Dating violence can be found in any community. It happens equally in all areas—no matter the zip code, city, state, or parts of the country.
WHEN DATING HURTS offers sound advice gained from domestic violence professionals, victims, and survivors—and from our lives after losing Kristin. We derived our passion to do this from our daughter. Kristin was a strong-willed young woman who was ever-focused on helping people like herself: young women trying to figure out how to live in this world. She generously cared for the safety and well-being of her friends and other innocents. We took her cause as our own.
HAD WE READ A BOOK like When Dating Hurts years ago, Kristin would most likely be alive today. This book can improve, and possibly save, lives. That is its only purpose. With something like dating violence, the more you know, the safer you—and those you love—will be.
IT CAN BE DIFFERENT for you.When Dating Hurts includes both a list and descriptions of typical warning signs women encounter. Although many of these “red flags” do not appear to shout out danger, continuous unhealthy behavior only escalates in frequency and severity. Had we had been aware of these, it could have been a whole different outcome. We cannot undo the past, but we can direct the future.
WHEN DATING HURTS will be available soon for pre-order at Amazon.
Bill is a board member with Clery Center for Security On Campus.
He is also on the Board of Advisors with Cabrini University's Center for Children of Trauma and Domestic Violence Education.